5 Reasons NOT to “Wait for the Invitation”

Wait for the Invitation

The ambiguous “Wait for the Invitation” strategy has undoubtedly confused every Projector who discovers Human Design for the first time. 

What exactly is an invitation? How do I know if I’ve received one? Do I need to wait for an invitation in this situation?

I constantly see people asking these questions in online Human Design groups. I’ll also see people sharing stories about how they want to do something really badly but feel like they need an invitation.

The comments often consist of questions like:

“Did the person specifically ask if you would join them?”

“Did you get an invitation to start this business?”

“Were you the first one to send a text??”

This kind of analysis leaves me feeling frustrated. It seems like diving “head first” into the very thing we’re trying to step out of: the mind

At its core, the strategy for Projectors is based on the mechanics of energy. When people get rigid about specific language, actions, sequencing of events, etc., it can quickly move away from empowering ourselves and into a game of mental gymnastics.

I won’t address what an invitation looks or feels like in this article. Instead, I’m giving some practical reasons why and when it may not make sense to wait for an invitation.

If you’re a Projector who finds yourself struggling with this experiment, here are the top five reasons NOT to wait for the invitation:

1) You don’t know the person you want to engage with

I see people miss this obvious fact so often. If you’re talking about initiating a conversation with a stranger, or inviting them to something, or trying to make a new friend… how do you know the other person isn’t a Projector?!

Projectors are designed to see, recognize, and invite each other. We need each other! Don’t stop yourself from interacting with someone you’re drawn to because of a strategy designed to help us.

Are you a projector? Find out which careers are more suitable for you.

2) There’s an established relationship

Great friends don’t stop recognizing you in between hanging out, so don’t let the mind get in the way of your natural instincts for interacting with the people who are important to you.

Now, that doesn’t mean we should go handing out unsolicited advice or try to initiate an outing and assume everyone will be on board.

If they’re a Manifestor, then just let them know what you’re doing, and don’t bother them about it.

If they’re a Generator, then give them space to follow their energy and check in with what they really want if they reach out to you. The classic pattern between a Projector and a Generator is that a Generator initiates, then a Projector asks them a Yes/No question to see if they really have the energy for it. Once you get the green light: onward!

3) You’re overthinking it

Here’s the thing: If you’re causing yourself confusion because you’re unsure of whether you received an invitation, you’re not living your design anyway! You’re caught up in the mind.

The best thing you could do for yourself in that moment is come into your body and do whatever IT feels like. Projectors with emotional authority (like me) can have an extra difficult time deciphering what to do, but I promise clarity comes over time.

Sometimes it does make sense to just do the thing if the alternative is overthinking. In any case, you’ll get solid feedback about whether there was a genuine invitation/recognition or not.

Which brings me to my next point…

4) You’re mentally trying to avoid bitterness

Believing you need to eradicate any experience of bitterness as a Projector is like sitting in meditation and believing you can never let yourself get distracted by thoughts. Unfortunately, a lot of people believe both of those things.

Following our strategy and authority is like a meditation – when we notice the bitterness (which comes from thoughts making decisions) we come back to our body and allow it to make decisions.

Projectors are designed to experience bitterness. It’s a valuable signpost and the guardrail to success! Order is only created through navigating chaos, and success is created through navigating bitterness.

It’s a continual process of learning so that we can allow the energy to flow more easily. The more life is flowing, the less we are apt to stay in the feeling of bitterness for any length of time.

5) You’re following your fascination

Are you doing what you love? Are you feeling pulled to go there or say something to that person? Never be afraid to follow what fascinates you!

Now, if I’m reaching out to someone, the question I like to ask is:

“Can I take this action for the sole purpose of the action itself – with ZERO expectations?”

There have been several times when I thought I was detached from the outcome, but upon receiving a disappointing response (or lack thereof) I noticed the feelings of bitterness creep in. This has helped me attune to what pure fascination really feels like in my body. It’s all about the 3rd line trial-and-error process, baby.

“The magic of this knowledge is not learning it, it’s living it.”

– Ra Uru Hu


The “Human Design experiment,” above all, is about learning to trust ourselves. We can’t do that unless we trust ourselves beyond the knowledge.

Chances are, we’ll find that the mechanics make a lot of sense and our strategy and authority enable us to live with more ease. It certainly has for me.

Eventually, there’s beauty in allowing our strategy and authority to happen instead of following it because we’re supposed to..

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